ETap, a celebrity burger

Can you judge a chef by their burger?



If I owned a restaurant I'd ask all potential chef applicants to make me a burger. It seems simple. The burger is at its core a simple food, some ground meat, perhaps cheese, dressings and veggies.


Seems simple but in practice finesse is required to move the ingredients from individual solo performances to a choreographed culinary masterpiece.



So I'm always interested in trying a burger from a celebrity chef. Yes a burger is my rating system, screw the fancy shamncy stuff just show me your burger. Dale MacKay won top chef Canada and shortly thereafter opened the acclaimed Ensemble. I liked it, it was good, but I’m not going to go as far as Van Mags, Silver Medal, for best new Restaurants 2012.



Etap, Dales second opening, is a downscaled casual bar like eatery with burgers. OK, now we really have a test of his cooking chops.


The Verdict: Near perfect execution with no wow factor.


Perplexing I know, a burger well assembled with good ingredients and yet lacking that little something something that elevates good to extraordinary.


Don’t ask me how to improve this burger, I have no idea, everything is there but sadly it comes of as just good. I suppose it’s like the “IT” factor for actors, some just got “IT” and some just don’t.


7.5/10



Celebrity burgers in Vancouver:



Hawksworth: Van Mags Best New Restaurant of the Year. Better then good but not great.


Fennie, used to have the best burger in town at the old Fennies. Not so much at Cactus Club.


Daniel Boulud made such a good burger at DB Moderne Bistro that they had to close it down. Wasn’t Dale the chef there?

Monks Grill, Vancouver Airport, Domestic Departures

The best thing about the burger at Monks Grill, Vancouver Airport, Domestic Terminal, is the beer. Is it me or does beer taste better at airports?



The Whistler Whiskey Jack Ale really hit the spot. Or maybe the beer was just compensating for a very corporate cafeteria style burger, 4/10 at its best. Enough said except, BTW, who ever decided that incorporating dried sawdust tasting basal to a burger bun should reconsider their chose of careers.


I know what your saying; this is an airport right? What do you expect? Truth is, there are some really good eats at many airports out there. And why should we except crap? Walk down the concourse at YVR and Vera’s Burgers has a line of patrons ordering and the smell coming off the grill is enticing and I see people digging in to killer looking burgers. I’ve never had a burger from this location but if it’s anything like there other locations that’s a very good thing. The diners seemed enthralled. But they don’t serve beer! Crap. Maybe next time I can sneak a Vera’s burger into Monks Grill. Do you think they would mind? I don’t see why, its not like they can argue that they have a burger on the menu. What they may have is an unreasonable facsimile perhaps but certainly not a real burger.


I’ll be back for a beer.

Earls, Vernon BC

The Bronx Burger is on the "specials menu". Hmm, I had the Bronx Burger at Earls in Port Coquitlam Nov 2010. Really? Perhaps, it took a year and a half to make it out to Earls in Vernon?

Come on guys shake things up a bit. Does it take you a few years to invent a new burger?
It’s a good burger but come on.

I'm going with 8/10 but could have been more if I wasn't to bitter with lack of change and inspiration.

The fried onions added crunch, sometimes they just add grease. the red pepper relish was a nice juxtaposition (yup I said juxtaposition) to the bitterness of the arugula.

I have to give props to Earls I think they consistently out burger the competition in this dining space compared to, Milestones, Joeys and the Cactus Club.


As good as it was I'm not having another Bronx burger ever again. I'm holding out for Earl’s next burger creation. Why do I get the feeling that it’s going to be a long wait?

Tableau Bar Bistro, Vancouver

What the hell am I doing ordering a burger at a French Bistro? OK, so they might get the frites right but what do the French know about burgers?



I should have had the steak frites. I've been to Tableau in the past and I've had the steak and it were excellent. I spent lunch staring longingly at my friend’s plate of steak frites while taking unfortunate bite after unfortunate bite of my less then inspired burger. To be fair it wasn’t a bad burger just a blah burger, 6/10, made worst by thinking about what I could have had.

I just managed to snap a picture of the steak frits before Wei polished it all off. She did give me a piece, I was grateful.


Sometimes it sucks having a burger blog. The nagging feeling that I must order a burger everywhere I go. As god is my witness "No more, I say, no more". From now on, screw the blog I'm ordered the best of the menu, which at Tableau is the steak frites. BTW, in case you feel I’m slagging Tableau, I’m not, just the burger. Agreeably the Georgia Straight named Tableau best French Bistro in the city.

I wonder what award they would bestow on their burger?



Please, just take it of the menu, help people from making the same mistake I made.

St James's Well, Newport Village, Port Moody

It's nice to be surprised. I really wasn't expecting much from the St James’s Well Irish Pub. That's not fair; it's not that I wasn't expecting much it’s just that I was expecting the usual mediocre pub burger. Happily, the Smokehouse Burger is much more. An easy 8/10, very nice.

There was a couple of things I really liked about this burger, firstly take a look at the picture, the bun to patty ratio was just about right. Often the patty is way too small and the bun way too big. Sadly like many places in this non burger city, the patty was cooked through (read overdone).

But back to the things I liked; secondly there was a savoury smoky sticky gooiness from the house made BBQ sauce, really nice, unique and tasty.

Be it from me to offer advice on improvement, however, bump up the quality of the patty, grind your own beef and then leave a smign of pink in the middle when served and there are huge prospects here for a truly special burger.


If your looking for a burger in Newport Village in Port Moody head to the St James’s Well. You may be tempted to stop at Browns Social Club down the path but the Well makes a better burger in a homey Irish pub environment and the beers not bad either.

Au Petit Chavignol, Vancouver BC

Au Petit Chavignol is a restaurant built on cheese. And yet the restaurant is so small, you would think it would be enormous to accommodate all those cheese lovers out there. I think this is a Vancouver hidden gem, a tiny, cozy oasis of cheese. If you like cheese do yourself a favour and go.



I was eying the fondue but then I’ve heard so many good things about the burger here, I’ll leave the fondue for next time.



I had the cheeseburger, with 3 year old raw milk Quebec Cheddar, double smoked bacon and an egg.

Always add the egg because I think that Canadian dietary guidelines on levels of allowable daily cholesterol are way to low and plus there is this ooie gooie thing the egg does to a burger that for me is quite appealing.


Life like investing is really all about risk vs. reward. The risk in this case is elevated cholesterol levels leading to arthrosclerosis an early cardiovascular episode and eventually an agonizing death.


On the other hand adding an egg can send an ordinary burger into the realm of the sublime and that’s the reward in life enjoying ethereal tastes and pleasures.


I choose the egg. Ironically, perhaps both.

Here my burger was bordering on the sublime. Yes the egg pushed it in that direction but the damn patty was way too small and overcooked. Still, an easy 9.5/10. Oh, but what could have been? Perhaps a double patty next time?

Or maybe I’ll get the fondue and the burger at the same time and dip the burger in the fondue. Ooo, but no, that’s just crazy speak ;)

Original Joe's Restaurant and Bar, Vernon BC

“Frozen Patties” the waitress replies somewhat ashamedly.



“But the meat comes fresh we portion it out and then freeze it and it’s not in the freezer long”.


Well then, that makes all the difference, if it's only in the freezer for a short period of time, sign me up! It’s the original Original Joes Burger for me, enhanced of course with bacon and avocado.



Original Joes is a chain, this one in the beautiful town of Vernon BC. In the whole chain hierarchy a step down from Earls but perhaps a step up from Boston Pizza. Does that make sense?


There motto gives you a good idea of their marketing positioning: Because you can’t get beer at a drive thru!


The burger is a step up from fast food for sure, but all in all a very average pub/grill restaurant burger, lets say 6.5/10. The bacon looked great, maybe that’s why they serve the burger open face but overall I couldn’t really hear it much in the orchestra of the burger. I think in this case the orchestra was playing a generic Britney Spears song from the days that she still had the cute factor and the avocado called in sick.

This was my first visit to Joe's. It is what it is. I’ll probably be back one day but I’m not in any great hurry.